All You Need is Love

One morning a couple of weeks ago I awoke with a start. Somewhere in my sleeping subconscious I'd realised that Christmas was just around the corner and I was not prepared. As I slowly slipped into consciousness and lay there listening to my home waking for the day I realised I only had one day to get prepared before Christmas. One day without children in tow, one day to shop for five children and that was the very next day.

The very next day at 10.30 in the morning with children tucked away at their schools I parked my car and paid the machine for 3 hours parking. I headed towards the shopping centre and shopped. No break for a leisurely lunch or a rest with a coffee. I whizzed around the department stores, toy shops and speciality outlets flashing my credit card left right and centre.Loaded up with bags I struggled around the shops making a trip back to the car to unload. Names were getting marked off my mental list. By 1.30 I was back at the car putting into the boot the last of the gifts for my family. My three hour whirlwind shopping spree over.

That night I lay in my bad thinking about my day. I felt no real happiness other than I'd achieved a lot for my day. No joy at the thought of all the gifts my family would receive. My Christmas spirit was stuck in neutral.

The following weekend we went to the local Christmas pantomime. A group of local actors on stage with a simple aim of entertaining people and putting a smile on their faces. My Bless-ed Harmony laughed louder than anyone. Everyone in the crowd booed, hissed, laughed, and cheered. My cheeks ached as I left the hall. My heart felt light and happy. My Christmas spirit had moved up a gear.

I remained in this gear into the week but was soon bogged down with life and work. Running around for the end of school and getting things organised with the business. Finally school broke up and one of our busiest weekends for work came to an end. It was time for Christmas tree shopping and this year we were buying local.

Bless-ed Frank and I stood in a paddock with the kids looking up at large tall trees while the owner of the trees asked which branch would we like. Frank and I slid sly looks at each other while we both held back laughter. Usually we go to a tree farm where we are given a saw and we all ran around yelling this one, no this one while we picked a tree. Here we had a man with chainsaw ready to chop the top of a tree off. We both knew we could've done this at our home for free!

With the branch in trailer the kids and I hopped in the car while Frank went inside the office to pay. The kids erupted in laughter. We could've done that at home they shrieked. We shrieked and laughed even louder when Frank got into the car and said exactly the same thing. The laughter rocked the car all the way home.

An afternoon a couple of days later with the Christmas branch decorate strapped to the flue of the fire place as it 12 feet tall, I sat wrapping all the presents while Frank entertained the kids. As I wrapped I thought about my shopping spree, the running around, the perceived stress of the Yuling. I then thought of the laughter and happiness of the activities that had made me smile and really put me in the Christmas spirit.

It was nothing to do with presents or giving or receiving. It was all to do with love. Enjoying being together and enjoying each others joy. Being present with the people you love.

So my Christmas wish this year was for everyone to feel love and for the love to follow them into the New Year.

Because love is all you need.

Happy Loving New Year to you,

Cathryn

What Kangaroo Care Means to Me

Say the words Kangaroo Care to anyone who has entered the world of the NICU and they know what you're talking about. Say it to the unexperienced and they ask if you look after kangaroos- seriously! I live in Australia so I could very well be caring for kangaroos!

When Becca and I looked at a name for a support and play group for our area we came up with the name Kangaroo Care. Kangaroo Care is encouraged in hospitals for mothers and fathers to hold their little premature and unwell babies on their chest so contact is skin to skin. The act of doing this has been highly beneficial. These tiny little babies thrive on the closeness with their loved ones. We knew the name would be easily recognisable to those we wanted to help.

For me there was another side to it.During my sidetrip to bring Bless-ed Tia into the world I found myself embraced in another form of Kangaroo Care. My family, my friends and my community wrapped my Bless-ed self and family in love with physical and emotional support in a way I never thought possible. We were helped on so many levels by so many people. It made us feel truly Bless-ed. To this day we marvel at the generosity of the people who helped us and express gratitude for all we received during the months I was away and when we came home.

Sadly, I realised that not all families who faced this challenging time had the support that we had. Kangaroo Care was needed by many. It is a special embrace from others who know and have been there too.

As Becca and I worked building our group we realised that it was a huge task and it was best to have support behind us too. So we merged Kangaroo Care with the Miracle Babies Foundation here in Australia to the Shoalhaven NurtureGroup. Our NurtureGroup is going from strength to strength. It is wonderful to be helping so many other families which has been our aim all along.To give them support during and after their journey.

The amazing thing for Kangaroo Care is that it has survived the merge. We have a page on Facebook (see link on right hand side of the page) and it is slowly growing. We use the page to promote all premature and unwell baby support groups and organisations worldwide. Families share photos and stories. It is a place to embrace others and acknowledge the journey they've been on. A simple page which understands the strength behind a simple act of close and loving hug. Even if it is from thousands of miles away.

Because sometimes a hug, an act of Kangaroo Care, is all you need to gather yourself up and keep going!

Just like it is for our precious little miracle babies <3

Cathryn

Just Do It!

Sometimes you simply need to dig deep and just do it to reach your goals. This last week or so I've realised that the energy to dream up the goal and the energy to reach the goal are two totally different feelings. Having an idea and dreaming up the plans and scenarios can be more exciting and interesting than actually bringing the dreams to completion.

One of my goals has been to complete the Sydney Bridge Run again and it was on last weekend. I ran it in 'O7 and I wanted to do it again. During my training I imagined over and over finishing. My family waiting at the end. The hugs and congratulations. Taking Bless-ed Tia into my arms. The completeness I would feel. The knowing that physically I am back to where I had been.

Instead as the week of the run approached I was ill at the beginning of it so rest and recuperation was needed. My plans for the whole family to be there were put aside as too difficult to orchestrate. So it was Bless-ed Jenson and I travelling up to Sydney and running on our own. The little doubting voice started in my head saying you're not ready/not fit enough/ too old/ too whatever to do this. In the end I decided I'd just go, enjoy myself and merely finish.

A perfect lightly overcast day greeted us and we timed our arrival at the event perfectly. Little time was spent waiting around. I gave Jens his final instructions and we set off over the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It was a tussle through the crowds with probably 3 times as many runners as last time and 2ks in I had a stitch. I pushed on planning to run it off. At the 4k drink station I grabbed a drink and that was the last I thought about the stitch.

I past St Mary's Cathedral,I must add here that by now Jens was nowhere to be seen so my mother's anxiety kicked in, and I entered the Botanical Gardens. Along the way out to Lady Macquaries Chair you can view the runners heading back to the finish so this leg went fairly fast and I scanned the crowd for my boy. As I came to the turn I looked across and there he was cruising along without a care in the world. A little lump of pride and relief swelled in my throat.

I continued on while praying for the drink station which was still a couple of ks further along. As I came up to the 7k mark I felt weary and tired. I questioned whether I should go on. What was it I needed to prove?

I watch an older man stop and place his hands on his hips sighing. I looked at his body language reading defeat. I thought that's not going to be me. I can do this! I eyed the drink station ahead and made my decision. Go in and have a drink, take your time then head to the finish line.

Feeling freshly watered and ready I re-entered the race and pounded back through the crowd. The best thing about these big races is there is always someone going slower. Someone you can aim for and go past. I ran past people feeling ready to conquer my goal. I headed down the final hill, passing people on Macquarie St going down and looking at people still going up. The end lay out below me at the Opera House. I crossed the line in what felt like mere seconds later rather than minutes. As I crossed I threw my arms in the air in triumph.

Yes!!I did it! I thought.

Instantly I went back into mother mode. I quickly searched for Jenson and found him. We grabbed a drink and took off our timers to return them. It was over. The goal was complete. I felt neither up or down. Slightly despondent. Certainly not jumping out of my skin with excitement. Not exactly how I thought I would feel. We decided to head to a cafe for lunch after spending a little while stretching and cooling down.

We found a nice place where we could watch the marathoners go past. While Jens went to the bathroom I sat alone watching the world go by. My mobile beep beeped that I had a message. I opened the message.

"Congratulations Cathy! You completed the Bridge Run 2010 in 51.06 minutes.'

With that the tears rolled down my cheeks. Confirmation.I was back. I'd done it. Faster than last time.

I'd achieved my dream. I stopped thinking about it and did it!

Cathryn

PS I wanted to post a photo with this but as usual no photos of me in the official photos!

Miracle Baby's Life Revived by Mother's Touch - Baby Jamie, Australia

I'm Back! And Inspired!

These last few winter months have been so hectic. Having five bless-ed children is so time consuming! The days and weeks fly by!

The other night while getting dinner this (see above video- still working all this out!) came on TV. I watched in awe of this beautiful family and their wonderful outcome. This story turns hope into belief!

I'm on the lookout for other inspiring stories. Do you have a story you'd like to share?

Cathryn

Goodbye Grandma

Last July I wrote this about my grandmother. Yesterday she peacefully left our world. Wonderfully we take comfort in the fact that she is now reunited with her beloved Ned. We'll all miss her.

16th July 2010

I've just returned from visiting my parents. My mother has recently had the task of placing my 93 year old grandmother into a nursing home. As you can imagine it is an emotional experience.

My grandmother is one of the most stubborn people I know. Her husband passed away in the early 70's and she has lived on her own ever since. I can't begin to tell you about how many times my grandmother should have passed away. From being run over on a pedestrian crossing,to putting her car through the side of a church until the last major threat a stroke in 1988 which we were all called home to say our goodbyes. Here we are finally putting her into care after years of independence. When I was at school a boy who lived in her street called her house the Botanical Garden of Junction Street. This made me secretly proud of her even though I said how embarrassing at the time. Grandma loved her garden and I think this is what has kept her alive.

So one afternoon during my visit this week I found myself with a sleeping Bless-ed Tia in my arms sitting with my grandmother. It was a whole new experience as we sat together. It was very quiet and with the age that my grandmother is the conversation went around in circles for a little while and then the conversation petered out. I was desperately avoiding conversation about her old home and had to keep snapping my mouth shut from asking if she liked her new one.

So we sat in the quiet for a while. I looked at my grandmother. I mean I really looked at her. For the first time I saw her age. You know how when you're a kid everyone over 40 is old looking. But this time I looked at her and the saw her real age. I surveyed the room and began measuring it in my my mind. Yes, definitely bigger than my hospital room not much but bigger. I surveyed the room her life had been reduced to. It was simply now one room with a bathroom instead of a house and beautiful garden. I looked at the photos of her old garden on the wall. I looked back to my grandmother.

In her eyes was a reflection of part me. Her eyes spoke of vulnerability and uneasiest. I recognised the look in her eyes. Here I am in this room her eyes said. This is what my life is now and I don't know what the future holds for me. In that instant I felt compassion for my grandmother on a level I'd never felt before. I closed my eyes, gently rocked Tia and let the emotion of the moment sink in.

The next day I realised I'd left my sunglasses at my grandmothers and rushed into her room to grab them before we came home. I felt the excitement from her of another visitor but I was quickly in and out of the home. As we drove off I could see her standing at the window trying to catch a glimpse of us. I waved and encouraged the kids to wave. Grandma spotted us and waved back. A lonely figure standing at the window. A little lady, frail from age and life who has a heart of a lion.

I'm so glad that our last memory is of her standing at her window waving goodbye. So appreciative that I got to spend a peaceful hour with her and recognised all that she was.

Goodbye Grandma.

If the feisty zeal for life that Bless-ed Tia has came from you. She's going to live a long and wonderful life <3

Cathryn

Let's breathe.............

As mothers we face daily ups and downs. Our beautiful loving child can become a screaming terror in seconds, our neat, clean and tidy home can be demolished to rubble in a blink of an eye and we can fall into bed so tired at the end of the day that the next time we open our eyes we wonder where the night has gone and how are we going to get up to do it again.

I've been attending a meditation group lately. One of the helpful things I've learnt are breathing exercises. I found this practice at www.beliefnet.com. It is derived from the Buddhist belief. It is as simple as breathing in and out and thinking or saying the words.Tonglen is a practice of compassion. In order to have compassion for ourselves we need to cultivate it for others. You take in the difficult parts of mothering for yourself and for all other mothers send out love and compassion.

Tonglen for Mothers

I breathe in the daily frustrations

small as they are, big as they can seem

I breathe out patience for us all.


I breathe in the loneliness

of days spent mothering on our own

I breathe out connection

community, compassion.


I breathe in the brokenness

not being enough in the world

I breathe out wholeness

leaving ideals behind, truth.


I breathe in the boredom

diapers, cooking, same every day

I breathe out simple pleasure

swings, finger painting, rocks.


I breathe in the exhaustion,

the worry, the fear

I breathe out the calm energy, excitement.


I breathe in the rage

at your plight, your place, your life

I breathe out peace

contentment, courage.


- DeLona Campos-Davis

A small amount of breathing and being still can lead to a whole lot of calm, peace and contentment.

So next time the going gets tough or you find yourself in a happy moment remember to breathe :)

Wishing you happy days,

Cathryn