Music and Life

I spent yesterday afternoon uploading new songs onto my iPod. I haven't uploaded anything for two years. I have started back running again and have been using it again.

As I pounded along to the Chemical Bros, Good Charlotte, Black Eyed Peas and Match Box 20 I realised it was time for an update. These guys are still great for running but some fresh stuff was needed. Thinking about what I could download I realised how important music can be.

In hospital I only used my iPod in the middle of the night. I would plug the iPod into my ears and pull the covers over my head so the music could transport me away.I didn't have an efficient way of updating songs so I saved my iPod as my sanctuary for when I awoke in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep. My favourites were Dido and other tortured artist crying about love lost and injured hearts.

During the day in hospital I'd listen to the radio. Even now, different songs I heard a lot of then can transport back to my hospital room. 'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol used to mellow me out. I'd lie on my bed and wish for Frank to be lying with me so we could forget the world together. So often in that room I felt I'd been forgotten by the world. I felt so alone.

Since my return home listening to my iPod has been a bit of a luxury. As tempting as it is to plug my ears against the noise of the kids sometimes, it isn't something I get to do that often. In a rare moment I have been found bouncing around to George Michael's 'Amazing' for a bit of self gratitude and motivating myself with Gwen Stefani's "What You Waiting For" so I can take a chance that I might grow! Though I am still waiting for my million dollar contract- it isn't far away I'm sure!

Every now and then a song sneaks up on me and takes on a meaning in my life. As I woke from the anaesthetic after delivering Tia a song was pulling me to consciousness. It was Pete Murray singing 'Pick Me Up'. It puzzled me for months why I had this song going on in my mind that day until I read the lyrics.

You saved me
Like you somehow owed me
Passion now flowing through my veins
Breathless days
I'd sit alone in silence
You brought me sun
And took away the rain

Honestly it's not a phase
Now I stand
Where before I couldn't raise
Even a smile just to get me through the day

You pick me up
You pick me up

These words reflect so many aspects of Tia arriving in my life. Mainly at my lowest points of my sidetrip it was Tia who got me through.

Music is great! It is like another form of communication. I can't sing or play an instrument. I am known to have some good moves on the dance floor after a couple of wines. I am not a music fanatic but I see music as a reflection of my life.

So tell me, what tunes move you?

Any suggestions from the last two years for me to add to my iPod?


:) Cathryn