The People You Meet

Tonight I took all 5 bless-ed kids to the Golden Arches for dinner. Not my choice of restaurant but sometimes it comes down to convenience!

As we walked back to our car (our car is lovingly known as the Mother Ship) a beautiful big dog came romping up to us. I shielded the girls as the dog was nearly as big as them and I'm always cautious around dogs (a whole other story for another time). The owner called the dog back and apologised stating it was dinner time for the dog. I smiled and comment on what a beautiful dog it was.

I looked at the owner, trying not to stare as I took in his missing arm and his artificial leg. I was bundling the kids into the car when Jenson asked the question, but not the question I was expecting!

'Is he the the train guy Mum?' Jenson asked, 'You know the guy off the TV ad about crossing the tracks safely?'

I admitted I didn't know and as I closed the door of the car I decided to ask the guy.

'Are you the train safety guy? I asked him and he looked puzzled.'Off the TV ads about crossing the railroad safely? Your arm and leg? My kids were asking me.'

'No, I'm the guy who was bitten by a shark,'he replied.

'Sydney Harbour?' I asked and he nodded yes, 'Thought so.'

The shark bite guy was watching me as I shut the door of the car and I walked over to him.

'I had a client back in '93 who's husband was eaten by a shark on their honeymoon up at Byron Bay,' I told him,'I can see by the surfboard on your car roof that it hasn't stopped you going in the water.'

'Hasn't stopped me. Surf, snorkel, scuba dive, swim. I still go in the water.'

'I've never been one for the water,'I smiled at him and said goodbye.

I drove off thinking WoW I meet the guy who was bitten by a shark in Sydney Harbour. What an interesting story he must have to tell!

Then I realised everyone has a story to tell. It isn't always that obvious to everyone else!

Geez, wish I could meet him again as I now have a zillion questions for him!

Cathryn

Suffering From Writer's Block!!!

Arrgh!!!!!

I secretly believed that writer's block didn't exist! It is the strangest thing. I want to write but when I sit down the words aren't in my head. The voice I have been hearing for the last year is quiet. What gives me hope is now and then I hear a little whisper.

Writing is a solitary thing to do. No one can help you. They can read what you write and offer advice. No one can write it for you.

I am searching and searching for the answer to my block. I am coming to the conclusion this is the wrong thing to do. I think it is simply where I am at.

I am trying to work on the last part of my book. I think this may be the most revealing and intimate part of my story. It is set in the time after Tia's birth and I am recovering and building my life again. There is healing of my body, mind and spirit. Coming home after months of being away from my family was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It wasn't as simple as here I am, I'm back, now lets get on with it!

Perhaps I need to sit with it all for awhile. I have thought that perhaps I need to go on a retreat. I did find one I was interested in but it is held over Easter. I asked the kids if it was okay if I wasn't home for Easter.

'No! You were away for Easter last year!' was the reply.

'Well, actually that was two years ago,' I said.

'Mummy, we never want you to be away for Easter ever again!' Caelan stated.

A retreat is not to be.

So I will sit with it.I will look inside and the answer will be there.

It always is!

Cathryn

Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today I sat in my OB's office being told that I only had 2-3 weeks before I would probably deliver my baby.

This is normally pretty exciting news to be told when you're pregnant especially if you're 37 weeks pregnant. It isn't exciting news to be told when you're only just over 19 weeks pregnant.

I watch the boom gate come down on my life. I was admitted into hospital that afternoon to try and add as many hours, days and weeks as I could onto my pregnancy.

I was on strict bed rest and was to stay in hospital until my baby was born.

At some stage on my first afternoon in hospital I recalled after the birth of my fourth child I'd needed to purchase shields for feeding. To do this I had to go the Special Care Nursery (SCN). The SCN is an off limits area only parents of admitted babies are allowed in. It is not an area that you can waltz into. I stood at the door of the SCN waiting for someone to notice me.

It was busy in there. Two midwives helped the NETS team (they transport preterm and sick babies to other hospitals)work on a tiny baby. I was mesmerized watching them. I openly gawked as I watch all they were doing from my distant position at the door.

Finally, I was noticed and sent quickly on my way with my shields in hand. As I walked slowly down the corridor and back to my room I thanked God that the baby was not my baby. I thanked God none of my babies had ever been in the SCN. I thank God for the beautiful healthy children I had.

Two years ago today, I sat in hospital remembering the scene. I prayed to God. This time I asked him to let it be me.

Please let that be the outcome for me I prayed. Please let my baby be born at an age that the doctors and nurses can help her. Please give me have a few more weeks of pregnancy because if I don't make it to 24 weeks my baby will surely die.

So two years ago today I began the wait for my baby. Two years ago today I started my side trip of learning what surrender truly means.

Cathryn