Just Do It!

Sometimes you simply need to dig deep and just do it to reach your goals. This last week or so I've realised that the energy to dream up the goal and the energy to reach the goal are two totally different feelings. Having an idea and dreaming up the plans and scenarios can be more exciting and interesting than actually bringing the dreams to completion.

One of my goals has been to complete the Sydney Bridge Run again and it was on last weekend. I ran it in 'O7 and I wanted to do it again. During my training I imagined over and over finishing. My family waiting at the end. The hugs and congratulations. Taking Bless-ed Tia into my arms. The completeness I would feel. The knowing that physically I am back to where I had been.

Instead as the week of the run approached I was ill at the beginning of it so rest and recuperation was needed. My plans for the whole family to be there were put aside as too difficult to orchestrate. So it was Bless-ed Jenson and I travelling up to Sydney and running on our own. The little doubting voice started in my head saying you're not ready/not fit enough/ too old/ too whatever to do this. In the end I decided I'd just go, enjoy myself and merely finish.

A perfect lightly overcast day greeted us and we timed our arrival at the event perfectly. Little time was spent waiting around. I gave Jens his final instructions and we set off over the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It was a tussle through the crowds with probably 3 times as many runners as last time and 2ks in I had a stitch. I pushed on planning to run it off. At the 4k drink station I grabbed a drink and that was the last I thought about the stitch.

I past St Mary's Cathedral,I must add here that by now Jens was nowhere to be seen so my mother's anxiety kicked in, and I entered the Botanical Gardens. Along the way out to Lady Macquaries Chair you can view the runners heading back to the finish so this leg went fairly fast and I scanned the crowd for my boy. As I came to the turn I looked across and there he was cruising along without a care in the world. A little lump of pride and relief swelled in my throat.

I continued on while praying for the drink station which was still a couple of ks further along. As I came up to the 7k mark I felt weary and tired. I questioned whether I should go on. What was it I needed to prove?

I watch an older man stop and place his hands on his hips sighing. I looked at his body language reading defeat. I thought that's not going to be me. I can do this! I eyed the drink station ahead and made my decision. Go in and have a drink, take your time then head to the finish line.

Feeling freshly watered and ready I re-entered the race and pounded back through the crowd. The best thing about these big races is there is always someone going slower. Someone you can aim for and go past. I ran past people feeling ready to conquer my goal. I headed down the final hill, passing people on Macquarie St going down and looking at people still going up. The end lay out below me at the Opera House. I crossed the line in what felt like mere seconds later rather than minutes. As I crossed I threw my arms in the air in triumph.

Yes!!I did it! I thought.

Instantly I went back into mother mode. I quickly searched for Jenson and found him. We grabbed a drink and took off our timers to return them. It was over. The goal was complete. I felt neither up or down. Slightly despondent. Certainly not jumping out of my skin with excitement. Not exactly how I thought I would feel. We decided to head to a cafe for lunch after spending a little while stretching and cooling down.

We found a nice place where we could watch the marathoners go past. While Jens went to the bathroom I sat alone watching the world go by. My mobile beep beeped that I had a message. I opened the message.

"Congratulations Cathy! You completed the Bridge Run 2010 in 51.06 minutes.'

With that the tears rolled down my cheeks. Confirmation.I was back. I'd done it. Faster than last time.

I'd achieved my dream. I stopped thinking about it and did it!

Cathryn

PS I wanted to post a photo with this but as usual no photos of me in the official photos!