Is it ever over....

Is it ever over or do side trips never end?

Over a year down the track every now and then I catch glimpses of the effects of last year on my family. At first the evidence was not hard to miss like children crying as I returned to Sydney for yet another specialist appointment. Crying and saying you are coming home tonight Mum.



Last night my beautiful girl was sad. She did not want to go to bed. Bless-ed Harmony was the youngest being 2 when all the side trip was going on. A 2 year old needs her Mum. Last night my Bless-ed parents were visiting. My Mother was a rock for us last year. She spent weeks in my home caring for my family.She was my family's surrogate mum. Bless-ed Harmony would not have survived without her Nan and her everlasting love.

Last night we tried to put Harmony to bed. She was crying unconsolably. With some gently rocking and sweet words she brought her tears under control and finally spluttered some words.

"No one makes me happy. I am sad,"she said. I encouraged her to explain.

"You leave when Nan is here. I want you to stay. Nan goes away when you are here and I miss her. You can't be here together."

Silently my heart begins to ache. She has not forgotten I realise. Her heart is telling her she loves us both but her head is saying we can't exist in our home together. As she grows older she will come to understand. At the moment she is confused.



I know in time we will all move on, we have already come so far. Last night was but a gentle reminder that the side trip is woven into our lives forever.



When you say to others, I beat you are glad that is over, you need to remember for them it never will be. Side trips are the fabric making up everyone's lives.



Cathryn