Bless-ed Baby: The Want, The Wait and The Will

My poor neglected blog :( I do not know what happened for the month of October. Did October even exist? It flew pass in a blink of an eye.

I was very busy with school and family holidays and of course my Bless-ed Baby book proposal. My book is now off on its own adventure at the publishers. I have to wait until the beginning of December to find out what our fate will be.

So for your patience I will let you have a sneak peek. My book is called Bless-ed Baby: The Want, The Wait and The Will. It is written in 3 parts as I found that at different stages I was learning and experiencing different things. I am sharing with you the intro for Part 2: The Wait. I trust you'll enjoy it!

PART TWO: THE WAIT

The light falls softly across my room. It is always soft as it is a South facing window and no direct sunlight ever reaches the room. The walls of the room are muted grey and mauve because of the lack of light the room is always dull. The trees swaying in the breeze outside the window are the only constant movement to be seen. I play the radio or turn on the TV otherwise the only sound would be my breathing and the hum of air conditioning.

Outside my room in the corridor I can hear how busy it is. The swishing of staff’s footsteps as they go about their jobs. The click clack of a crib as a new mother pushes her new born along to the nursery. The hushed tones of staff and mothers passing outside my door is overridden at visiting time. Loud voices and excited chat is all I can hear. Groups of happy people going to welcome a new soul to the world pass by my door. I hear the soft thudding of a child running up the hall. Mummy, mummy I hear the child squeal. I sit and watch the door. I watch the door waiting. Will there be any visitors for me?

I am sitting all alone in the hospital. Separated from all of which is familiar and all of which is family. I sit and try not to think of my family. I try not to focus on them. My heart aches if I give them too much thought. I have abandoned them. No mother wants to leave her children uncared for. But I have no choice. I have to believe a grandmother and a community can replace me.

I am facing the unknown. I do not know how it will end and I do not know how I will do it. I do know though you are another bless-ed child of mine and I will try my best for you.

As I lie in hospital feeling your movements inside of me, I know for now you are safe. The longer you remain cocooned in there the safer you will be.

So I sit here and wait for visitors. I wait for each day to pass. I wait for each week to end. I wait on the sidelines of my life as my life continues on without me.

I sit here and wait.

I wait for you.