My Bless-ed Girl is Two!

Yesterday was Tia's second birthday (and Mac's seventh). Interestingly compared to last year I was quite unemotional about it. In fact I was quite normal. There was none of the 'this time last year' or 'it isn't really her due date' thoughts. It was as simple as my little baby girl is two!

Tonight I'm filling in the forms for her first day of preschool tomorrow.My thoughts are my last child is starting preschool and I've returned to where I was two and a half years ago. I've made it!

When I found out I was pregnant with Tia I was instantly assaulted with how am I going to do this thoughts mixed with I don't want to do this thoughts. Constantly I questioned myself about how I was feeling. Where would I find the strength for five children? As you know I had to survive the pregnancy to get to the survive the five children stage.

So here I am. I have survived. Last week threw a couple of things at me to show I've moved on. We couldn't find bless-ed Tia's birth certificate and couldn't recall a memory of receiving it. Goes to show how details are easily forgotten. In that search I found a diary entry from the day of Tia's birth which I'd lost. I think it finally answers the question- what is my book all about. Here is part of it for you.

20/06/08

So much for sleeping pills. It is four in the morning and I've been awake for an hour. There's a baby crying down the hall. Very annoying.

The day is here. The day I have been waiting for. Our little girl is coming into the world six weeks early today. She is squirming in my belly. I know she will be okay as she is so determined to be here.

My mind is very active sending out little prayers. My eyes are heavy though. Perhaps I will get a little more sleep.

What is it I'm afraid of? It is hard to say. The unknown. The fact that you have to put your faith in a group of people you hardly know. Is it the pain and the recovery?

I live a blessed life and can't see why this event can't be blessed as well. Everything will be okay. What freaks me out most about this journey is it isn't merely about a baby but about a group of people finding their strengths and recognising their weaknesses. I hope we can all look at ourselves and recognise this. Take the lessons and become better people.

I'm at the turn. If this is a race, an out and back race, then I'm about to head back. It is time to put to put the lessons we have learnt into practise.

We won't be the same ever again. We will be stronger and united. We will give our egos a rest and acknowledge that it isn't always about us.

Sunday 27th June 2010

WoW a week has past since I started this post. A week of Tia being two. Yes, life is good. Bless-ed Tia had great birthday and thrived on her first day at preschool.

Me- I feel I've found my feet. A day of being me while Tia was at preschool resulted in more energy later in the week. I'm quite impressed with the amount of housework I achieved before the weekend. I think as I settle into having me time it will translate into some extra writing time.

Yep, I'm finally at the place to finish writing my book.
Yep, my bless-ed Tia is two and for all the ups and downs of bringing her into our world I could not imagine my life without her.

I love you bless-ed little Tia xo

Cathryn